Frannie

Frannie the Dog is a complicated character in my life. She is a DOG. But so much more. I chose her as OUR family pet before Bert and I got married. I remember calling and telling him that I had bought a SHIH-TZU! He was a tad bit irritated with me but he knew then (what has come to be a problem now) that I have "impulse control" issues. I bought her from a PET STORE (no no #!) and quickly found out that she was a POO POO EATER! I became OBSESSED with keeping her from snacking on her excrement. I tried HOT SAUCE directly on the poop and then tried an actual (useless) medication that is supposed to make their poop "taste bad"!! LOL! it still makes me laugh that there could be something worse tasting than POOP! UG! Nothing worked. she always wants to "clean up" after herself.
Frannie has been around for 13 years and does not seem to be going anywhere. Is it bad that when I take her to the vet i have a small hope that they will tell me that she has been overtaken with illness and needs to be put down? HORROR, can you imagine a worse person than one that is ready for her dog to "move on"? The more that I think about it, the more I realize it is just the waiting on the inevitable that is so hard.
She is stinky. She is deaf. She is blind. She still eats poop. She barks incessantly for food. She has ruined EVERY rug in my house. She tinkles on a towel in our bathroom set on the floor for that reason. She sleeps like a rock on the foot of our bed and there is no room for our feet to be comfortable because she pins the comforter down with her "heftiness". She is my dog. I am the ONLY soul that loves her.
She was my first "portrait" subject. She lay there with me after i was in a car accident that bloodied my face so bad that I could not go to work. She had no problem looking at me. She snuggled me when I was hairless. She lay next to me as I recovered from every childbirth and a couple of surgeries. She has never noticed when the house is a mess, or if I am a mess. I have done nothing but need her comfort and her warmth. I have used it, for my benefit. She reminds me of the tree in Shell Silverstein's most adored story. she has given to me and i have taken from her.
Let me be clear, NO ONE likes this dog. But I will cry when she dies. I will feel a major void. i will miss her annoying bark one day, I know. Frannie, you are my little dog and i love you. I am sorry.