Monday, August 31, 2009

God is Bigger than DMD! a RE-POST

My nephew B is a MESS! in every sense of the word. he is extremely active and full of life. he is 4. when he was 2 1/2 he was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. DMD is the most common fatal genetic disorder diagnosed in childhood affecting 1 in every 3,500 live male births. there is no cure for DMD... NOT YET! ok now after telling you the "FACTS" i want to tell you more about B, my sister and her family.

when they found out about B they were devestated. and understandibly so. we all have plans for our children. they will go to school, have relationships, play sports, maybe even being the BEST at something, get married, have kids, and then they will have their own kids that will do remarkable things! life will happen for our children and we PRAY that they don't do drugs, hang with the wrong crowd,kill somebody or most importantly...reject GOD. but, for heaven sake we NEVER expect that their will be something medically wrong with our precious children.

my sister and brother in law are two of the most awesome people you will ever meet. they LOVE the Lord Jesus, eachother, and their three children. they are God-fearing, tax paying, "good people" i mean COME ON LORD, how can something like this happen to them? what about those people over there that don't tithe and don't spend TIME with their kids? OR THOSE people who party all the time instead of going to wednesday night worship and heaven forbid they EVER go to church? shouldn't my sister and my brother in law deserve to have healthy children that will go on to do GREAT things? the Bible says no, actually. none of those "good acts" matter. in fact all of our good works are as filthy rags before the Lord. WHAT:?????>?<

"There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. ALL have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." Rom. 3:10-12

as christians we often think of our own faith and self-righteousness as a ticket to a pain free life. If we are faithful enough that God will give us what we want. therefore we will live a healthy and wealthy life! wow. that sounds like good news. i could totally get on that bandwagon. but the TRUTH is simply NOT true.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jer. 29:11

these words in Jeremiah are a wonderful thing. but sometimes christians take them to mean that our hope and future and prosperity will be here on earth. but the ultimate hope and future is in heaven. the knowledge of our Lord as our savior is our HOPE and FUTURE!!

How does this relate to B, my sister and brother in law? it actually means EVERYTHING.

My sister, although she HURTS for her child, knows where her hope lies. and there is TREMENDOUS hope in the fact that God knows the plans he has for B! my sister and brother in law know that God's plans trump their own. while they pray for a cure for DMD, they do not sit idle, but fight the battle with their child. they have a fabulous doctor and B is on daily steroid treatment for strength. he will never build new muscle, so they have to be careful about depleting the muscles that he already has. the depletion of muscles is what causes the eventual wheelchair aspect. we are praying that the research that is being done RIGHT NOW for DMD will bring treatment in a few years for B. this is our prayer!

B is a little pistol. he is a fighter. he is hilarious. he is my youngest child's best friend. he loves playing with little cars on the floor, he loves his dogs and cat, he loves playing with his neighbors and chasing things! to look at B you would not know that he has this illness. he is simply a normal little boy. he enjoys every normal activity that he can do. We love this little boy so much! we know that God is not bound by medical facts or stats. we are praying that he be healed of this disease.

thank you for reading B's story and i ask for your prayers for him! pray for research and click on to the Parent Project website. you can help by purchasing some merchandise and also becoming more aware of the facts of the disease. there are car magnets, a children's book, christmas cards and much more. thank you so much.

upon reading this post to my sister she reminded me that at first she was quick to ask, "why me?" when she realized the real question should be, "why NOT me?" none of us are deserving of anything, we are all sinners. ONLY because Jesus died for us do we recieve GRACE. God will do mighty things through B. we know this is true already.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

drain flies ATTACK!

what we thought were fruit flies were found to be drain flies. coming up from the SEWER!!!!!!! ARGGGHHH BARF!! they twittle flittle around the house and hang out near the sinks. Bert got rid of them by pouring some sort of drain cleaner down the drains with enzymes? i dunno, some sort of something our plumber gave us. we think it scared them away or killed the live ones BUT OH NO not the eggs i guess because a couple of weeks feel like a scene from the Birds! but of course even Hitchcock could not have imagined these drain flies. we came home from church and i discovered their "convention" that they are holding in our guest bathroom. i keep trying to swat them myself but they are FAST. i put a couple of wine glasses with white and red wine around the sinks. the bugs hang out on the glasses but only a few "lightweights" fall into the wine, get shnockered, and drown. i will say that spraying them when they land with "Fantastic Oxy Power" kills them instantly but it does not give me quite the thrill that smacking them with my hand does! don't worry, my hands are washed off each time i catch one. there are too many of them to smack so something else is going to have to work. i will find out when Bert gets home from the home improvement store. to be continued~~
ok later tonight...drain flies still flying around and i am still trying to clap my hands and smash them. Bert put some SKUNK smelling stuff down every drain in the house and therefore, hopefully clearing out the drains. he was even scrubbing the drains with some nappy toothbrush. PLEASE TELL me that he throws it away. he did not. he likes to "keep things for future use." so now the flies do not have anywhere to go because they are not going back to the skunky drains. i have set up the wine around so that they can spend time at the "bar" before they die their natural 48 hour life. or pass out into the wine. Bert thinks that the creators of "a bug's life" had drain flies and then came up with the bar scene. we have closed the bathroom door and prohibited entrance until i KNOW that they are dead. will update tomorrow.

TODAY....oh my goodness the little boogars are still flying around! i am going crazy. well, that might be too late. they are just flying around my house and waiting to die. apparently they only live for about 48 hours. i keep catching them by spraying them when they land. it is kinda fun i have to admit. BUT it is not so fun when we are having dinner and they are joining us. bert tries to make like they "aren't that bad! hilarious, he swats at them but acts like he is pointing at one of the kids. bert has poured the stuff from lowes down the drains again to make sure that the drains are being treated. he cleaned out the drains "plumber style" took them apart and cleaned out the gunk so the eggs can't stick in there. eeewwww. we'll see. I KNOW you are hanging on the edge of your seat!!!
My friend told me that she has been battling these for years and they finally found the stuff that works.
here is the site
Bert put something down our drains mainly the two ingredients are enzymes and ammonia. but we had to do it TWICE and Bert has to clean the heck out of our drains first. but try the link by clicking on the title of my post "drain flies attack"

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Crunch rode up on his "horse" which was actually a plastic sword. he had a spiderman fleece blanket tied around as a cape and his knight's helmet. he road up to the couch and said "i'm widing my horsie get on!" so i did...squatting behind him and holding on to his waist. i told him i was scared! he said don't be scared i have a sword to fight the DWAGON. i jumped off the horsie that became immediately transformed back into a sword. i hid behind a "tree" in the living room and he ran off sword leading the way and "slayed" the dwagon for his pwincess. me. the pics of him are from another day but in a very similar outfit.

some favorite paintings

Friday, August 28, 2009

magoriam's parting words

i was watching this really cool movie with the kids. "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" is a movie about a magical toy store, with Dustin Hoffman playing this HIGHLY eccentric character who claims to be over 200 years old and is wanting to pass along his magical store to his faithful store employee. they have this precious father/daughter like relationship and it is REALLY sweet. but what he says to her in the end of the movie is a quote that i will never forget to remember...... he holds her face tenderly in his hands and says,


i absolutely LOVE this quote. and i am in the mood to pick it apart and try and relate it to my life. here goes it.

if we think of our lives as an occasion we must think about what an "occasion" is.

Webster says an OCCASION is an event that occurs at a critical time.

So, each of our lives are occurring at a critical time. indispensable and vital.

Webster says the definition of CRITICAL in this sense is a turning point or a specially important juncture. it also has another meaning that i found interesting. it says that critical is CRUCIAL. and it uses it in the sentence "critical [crucial] to the operation of a machine.

All of our lives, right now i am thinking of my own life as part of God's "machine" if you will allow. i am a critical part of it because he has every moment predetermined. He has given me life THROUGH his SON. this occasion of life for me to RISE to.

don't need RISE to lift up to look up, to climb higher, to be lifted higher. to move above. RISING to it is only possible through the Lord. we see through the bible how Jesus told the paralysed man to rise, take his mat and walk (mark 2:9-11). i think of the song that says, "ARISE MY SOUL ARISE!" of course there is the most important fact is that Christ ROSE from the dead and so we can do the same when we meet death. we will rise and be with JESUS. IF and only IF we have accepted the gift of salvation and asked the Lord JESUS to come into our hearts.

might seem silly to pick apart a quote from a movie. but when i think about rising to life's occasion it is encouraging because God has never promised us pain free lives but he wants us to face those trials "rising" to the occasion of them. i do not feel alone. only through Christ do i rise. and things do not seem near as scary.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

painting almost "crunched"

my commissioned horse painting was almost complete and i was taking a break (heaven forbid that i ever go to the bathroom!). then i heard a shriek! Peanut had discovered Crunch painting on my painting. with black acrylic and a big brush. i was DEVASTATED! i had worked so hard on this painting and it was messed up. the good thing about paint is it can always be painted over. so, i worked into the night to RE-PAINT the bottom half of the horse. it actually ended up better in the end because i discovered some mistakes that i had not caught the first time.

out of my shell

we went to the zoo yesterday! i always have fun at the zoo because i am fascinated at all of the animals. their colors, design, and complexity boggle my mind. i can't believe that ANYONE can go to the zoo, look at the animals and NOT believe that they were created by GOD! i love the new tortoise exhibit. they are just freely wandering around. none hiding in their shells. i guess they are fearless in numbers!

I sometimes feel like a tortoise. stuck under a shell. my outer shell controlling my inner person. the one God made. But, did he not make both outer and inner? my outer shell of wife and mother are there for a purpose. to remind me of my commitments at this time. my husband and children. my inner self wants to run away sometimes. but my shell keeps me here. i can't quite move like i would like to. join a band as the lead tambourine and sometimes singer. or run away to new york city and hang out in coffee shops/and art galleries and just chat with the locals. i can't go on a speaking tour or an artist's excursion. all of these dreams might not EVER come true. not right now. GOD has me HERE and if he has to put a big shell on my back to remind me of my commitments and what is BEST for me. does this mean that i am BOUND? no, it does not. He has many plans for me and i might not EVER know why he has me in some of the spots that he does, but i need to be comfortable in the shell that i'm in and look at it as my protection not my burden. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. proverbs 19:21

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

the mad woman


i think there is a good chance that i am going insane. mornings are frustrating, loud, no one minds me. it's like the kids are little remote control toys that have a "short" in them so i keep having to "jiggle the handle" to get them to move!

i feel like a mad woman and i feel so mean and yet "Butter" still wants a hug and a kiss! has he looked at what he is kissing. a mad woman with morning breath and a BLACK BELT IN CRAZY!

when they come home i will hug and ask them how their day was and hope that they will forget about Attila the Hun(sp?) from this morning.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

hiding in the bathroom

i was hiding in the bathroom last night.

glass of wine and my frustration mixed together

tub bath if i wanted to

so i did

i got out and peered out into the bedroom

no one was there so i thought i would sneak back in

so i did

swiping the laptop

door locked. pitterpat of kids feet around the door

frozen mommy in the bathroom please don't yell my name or i will cry.

super dad hollering leave mom alone she's having mommy time.

crusty clean hair and no brush...where the heck is my brush?

corner of bathtub becomes my throne. alone....finally

i can't STAND it i have to have some chatersation with my "friends"

status: hiding in my bathroom..........

could i use my toothbrush to brush my hair?

Monday, August 24, 2009

the day i lost my hair

normal day, i suppose... except for the fact that i was 36 weeks pregnant with my second child. after a slow morning at home with the two year old it was time to take a shower and get ready for the day. i got in the steamy shower and glanced at myself in the mirror. after all, i felt pretty. i always feel pretty when i am expecting children. i feel all glowy and my skin is usually clear and i love my big belly. i love feeling the baby move. i love having big boobs! everything about pregnancy usually is quite appealing to me. i had also just found out that my cervix was 1 centimeter dilated and that meant that the baby was moving towards his grand exit of my body and entrance into the world.

feeling the hot water smooth out my hair and run down my body i still could hear Dora the Explorer playing loudly in the next room entertaining Peanut. relaxation. all with the world is good, i thought. while squirting the shampoo into my hands and preparing to shampoo my newly highlighted blond hair i had no idea what the next moment would do to me. lathering up my hair, something very odd began to happen. my hands became entangled in my hair in a "cobweb" effect. i brought my hands down to see that my hair was indeed in my hands. well of course not all of it, but a significant amount. this had never happened in all of my life and i reached up again and felt my hair and once again, cobwebs. i knew at that point. something is not right. not right in my world. i had no idea, although how much God was going to use me over the next chapter of my life.

PART TWO the day i lost my hair

so there i sit in the dermatologist's office waiting on the doctor to see me. after all, i had shed half of my hair in about a week's time so something had to be wrong. although, i was not too worried about it because my doctor, who also happened to be a good friend, had reassured me that this was probably a hormonal event and could be "headed off at the pass" with some good old fashioned sterroid injections. whatever it takes, i thought, and then i can get back to preparing for this baby's arrival!

i was relieved to see my friend come in with the attending doctor to assess the situation. examination hands in the hair, discussion in medical terms about "the patient" (me), some writing in my chart... i begin to pick up a negative vibe. i interupt the attending doc, "excuse me? did i just hear you say that there is nothing that you can do? am i going to be....bald?" she turned to me and answered, "i am not telling you that you are NOT going to be bald". it was then explained to me that i have an autoimmune disease called Alopecia Areata. Repita por favor? in regular people terms please, "you are going to lose hair. we don't really know how much or if you will ever get it back. for no real reason at all. you just have hair loss, now, pay your copay as you leave." this was not exactly what was said but it is what i heard. "Wait" my friend doc said to the attending doc "do you think we should give some injections a try anyway? At this, the attending doc all but tossed the chart to my BRILLIANT SENT FROM GOD friend doc and let her go for it. so, for the next 20 minutes or so i held a towel while she, with a long thin needle, injected a total of about 50 squirts of sterroids into the outer layer of my scalp. she would periodically hit a vessel, it would bleed, and i would cry, just a little, from the shock of the whole experience.

Bert was waiting for me in the car. he had taken Peanut to eat at "mickydee's" and was back to pick me up. i waddled my pregnant self over to the car, fighting back tears and holding my breath as i got in the car preparing to tell my husband that he was about to have a bald wife. this was no easy task because as i opened my mouth all that i could do was sob. so i simply said, "you need to know that i might be going bald, so i am probably going to go ahead and shave my head". with this he said, "well, OK i will shave mine too!" the laughter that followed CERTAINLY broke the tension. "Bert, no, you keep your of us needs to stay cute!"

two weeks later, i delivered my second child. A baby boy. as i geared up to take care of little "Butter" my hair loss and the start of an adventure had only just begun.

PART THREE the day i lost my hair

So, i am in labor with this baby and i am donning a blue headband thingie because i do not have any hair on the sides of my head or any bangs. i had resolved two weeks earlier, when dealing with the knowledge of the disease, that the most important thing was to stay "sane" and calm as to not put myself and the baby into stress. i had gone to the mall, stocked up with cute scarf type accessories. those poor sales associates at the mall were hiding and peeking at me as i would find a headband and look in the mirror and CRYYYYYYY, gather myself and try on another one. i can say with humility that i had never been to the mall and not enjoyed trying things on and LIKING what i saw in the mirror. just being honest. i had always felt "cute". until then.

Going into labor three weeks early was no surprise to me. i knew my body had been under some stress and the baby had been bearing down. i once had to stop mid-walk and cross my legs because it felt like the baby had found a needle somewhere in me and was using it to chisel his way out! i cringe while remembering this because i can recall the pain so well! "Butter" made his way into the world and it might have been the sweetest moment of my life. i had cried so much about my imminent "balding" situation and then to look in this little one's eyes made everything else seem so small.

Even the very hairs of your head are all numbered Matthew 10:30

i had resolved in my head that no matter how hard the hair loss had been i could handle it. i have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and he knows the very hairs of my head and has them numbered. He knows every part of me! especially how important looks had been to me my whole life. i always had this secret fear that at some point in my life, my looks might be taken from me. i was realizing that God was very aware of this fear and was obviously using it to draw me near. this i understood. His Sovereignty was growing clear.

We brought the baby home from the hospital. things were looking up for me. i had figured out how to use the scarves on my head and still maintain cuteness! hey, i saw this as an opportune situation for me. i had a perfect second child, a small problem with my hair (that brought me attention, which i loved), and i could have this "testimony" to share with others about how i had defeated this fear of hair loss and of course i could share the grace of God in the midst of it! oh, and stay cute at the same time! also, i was already feeling whiskers on my head! my hair was re-growing. awesome, everyone wins. But, God was not finished with me. not at all.

two weeks after bringing the baby home i was outside talking to one of my neighbors. i noticed that i felt a "resistant" feeling on the right side of my face. mainly when i smiled. i went inside and looked at myself in the mirror...nothing appeared wrong but i felt strange and my smile felt crooked. within 20 minutes Bert and i were concerned as my face seemed to begin to "droop". i called my doctor who instructed me to call 911 in fear that i could be having a stroke. needless to say, i was FREAKING OUT!

God is so good and his timing is perfect. My dermatologist friend showed up at my door right in the middle of the chaos. she was bringing me some banana bread and walked right in during the perfect time to perform a little "stroke" assessment. she calmed our nerves that i was probably not experiencing a stroke and probably was experiencing "bells palsy". a temporary paralysis of the seventh facial nerve. SO, "OK LORD, what are you doing now? why me? why my face? why now? how much more can i handle?"

we did go to the ER and after some tests it was confirmed that i did indeed have bells palsy and it would "PROBABLY" go away. we were told. at this point in the story, i have not much hair and a half smile and an eye that stays open ALL THE TIME. i had to sleep with tape over my eyelid and i had to wear a patch over my eye to keep stray dust and debris from getting in my eye. this is really one of the only "dangers" associated with bells because it can cause injury to the cornea. but, it seemed that the doctors that i began seeing for my condition wanted to try and connect my hair loss with the bells. this caused anxiety for me because i was fearful that there was something wrong in my brain causing inflammation. there was never any connection made between the two. the bells palsy went away but the alopecia has hung around.

i have shaved my head twice for lack of substantial hair. over the 6 years that i have had alopecia, i have learned so much. God has taught me a tremendous amount about myself. one, i will go through very uncomfortable needles in my head to re-grow hair. two, my husband thinks i am a "hotty" with or without hair! three, i am not just an outer shell...God has given me many gifts to glorify him. four, i can't have a career in modeling and this is good for my mind wellness! many more lessons i am learning daily about myself as i deal with seasons that sometimes bring no bangs, maybe no hair in the back, sideburns come and go like the wind. i am prepared for what God has in store and the doctors have no way to predict what my hair will do. one day, probably, i will be bald. there are worst things. i will grieve and then i will go and buy one of those suction cup wigs and go and talk to little bald kids at the children's hospital or something. but mainly i will tell people how God is so GREAT and he loved me enough to bring me through this adventure to share his gospel message.

Jesus Christ, the ONE AND ONLY SON of GOD, was sent to the earth to LOWER Himself to be human yet still GOD. he experienced every emotion and pain that is known to man and knew his ENTIRE life that he would be tortured and crucified. He knew that he would have to die for our sins that we were incapable of paying for. he paid our debt to God by dying, GOING TO HELL, and raising again so that those that do not know Him could know Him and his Father.
My testimony continues everyday and PLEASE do not assume that my attitude is always "christian". this is why GRACE is so important because i need constant forgiveness and the Holy Spirit reminds me of my rotten attitude and points me upward. God NEVER promises anywhere in the bible that we will be without suffering but he promises to hold us through it. and all for His glory.

the day i lost my hair photos

garage sale find.

i found the coolest ottoman at a garage sale this Saturday. nice and sturdy. upholstered in the cutest fabrics and just the right size for my daughter's little reading chair. $10!! also found brand new silver wedge sandals and two framed pictures ripe for the hanging! the whole spree cost twenty bucks!

birfday boy crunch

good day for a non-party birthday!! crunch, cousins and i went to the mall... bought a present of his choice (power ranger walkee-talkee's). chicken nuggets and a ride on the carousel. fun times were had today.

quote of the day: "mom, this car is too small for me cuz i am soooo big!"

flo and earl's diner

We had so much fun playing the part of flo and earl while bert made pancakes for the kids and their spend the night guests. i get really into my part as flo. butter does not like it when i play a character for too long. i think he is afraid that i might actually forget my part as mommy and BE flo. bert has fun being the grumpy and "bullish" cook. we had fun. around the cook top. this is one of bert's favorite things.

Friday, August 21, 2009


OK so my friend Coco is one of those KNOW STUFF people. cuz she knows everything. she taught me everything about thrift store shopping and the proper time and places to get the best deals. now she informs me of this REALLY easy way to earn these "bucks" that you actually get to buy stuff with! all i have to do is, instead of using my normal search engine i click on my swagbucks link and search there. each time i search for ANYTHING i get bucks. coco has earned so many starbucks coffee bucks that she never pays for coffee! it's not just coffee! go on the website and check it out. if you get your friends to join you get their bucks too! it is a win win. coco goes on the search engine and searches for random stuff everyday just to get the bucks shhhh don't tell!

click on my SWAG BUCKS title above and it will link you to the registration page. give it a try!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

"tale of a third grade nothing" (indian day fiasco) told in "stream of consiousness" form.

this is one of the worst of my childhood memories. it has been a source of comedy relief in my family but i am TIRED of it being funny. it just is not.
there was a contest that was going to be held at our school JUST for the third grade and it involved dressing up! my favorite thing. i came home, told mother (she is "mother" in this story because that is the tone that i use when i am angry and still bitter about something that was traumatizing and HER FAULT). so, i came home and told her that we had "indian day" coming up and there was a costume contest! well, giddyup! she got really excited about this project and went all over town to collect the indian "squaw" gear. yarn wig, moccasins, suede vest, indian skirt, war paint...etc. nothing was too much! i was going to WIN!

indian day came around a couple of weeks later and i woke up at the crack of dawn to get ready. this is when the above photo was taken. i gathered my backpack and waited for carpool. they drove up, honked and i skipped out to the car. i thought it a little strange and somewhat pitiful that the other third grader in my carpool had forgotten to dress up. sad. she is really going to have a bad day, i was thinking. we pulled up to school and off to the gym where the ENTIRE SCHOOL went before the bell rings.

it pains me to assume that you, the reader of this MOST popular blog, probably know what is next:

there i walked, head held high, into the gym, to be admired for my "squaw like" details and after all, i looked like freaking Pocahontas! and yes, as you are suspecting...the worst happens...the worst moment in any after school special. the contents of the gym swarm like some movie star had walked in. only, it is me. not a star, but a THIRD GRADE NOTHING, dressed as an indian. the DAY BEFORE indian day. so therefore, i am the only one dressed as an indian.

to make a long story (intended to be short) even longer, i need to tell you that i had to spend the day as the lone indian in the third grade hall. then the next day, wear it ALL OVER AGAIN. i don't think i won any contest but i should have for the length of my reign as Sacajawea!

oh, and it is Mother's fault because she was supposed to know when these dates were! who trusts a third grader with a calendar?

waffle breakfast fit for a hamster!

i woke up this morning to a scream! "WHERE IS MY HAMMMSSTTEERRR?" the hamster was not in his cage. had he had somehow opened his cage door, climbed out, and closed the door behind him? not possible! but SOMETHING had to explain his absence. we turned Peanut's room upside down looking for that little guy. we asked Crunch if he had gotten Rico out. he said, "yes" and then we asked him where he put him. his answer was, "in the magnet drawer". we figured out he was talking about the locked cabinet. all four of us piled in front of the cabinet to see what was inside.......nothing. well, except for the snack food. then we heard a little voice..."gimme a pop-tart". that little stinker was using Rico's "supposed" abduction to get us to open the pop tart cabinet! shameless.

We continued our search for the hamster when it dawned on us that it had to be Peanut herself that had sleepwalked, gotten the hamster out and either put him in bed with her or just let him go. while sitting on the floor of the bedroom we heard a tiny noise, and then discovered the hamster in the corner. he was tired from his adventure, very thirsty, but alive. we do not know what happened in the night nor will we ever but Rico will reside on a high shelf starting tonight!
don't worry too much about Rico! Peanut treated him to a waffle breakfast to make up for the unfortunate experience.

Crunch's new thing is to say how "stwong" he is! he picks up everything he can and says, "i can pick this up because i'm STWONG!" he is at the little time in his life that what he thinks is true...IS! in fact, one can't convince him otherwise. i love this. as he grows, Bert and i will have to teach him about where his strength comes from.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped."

psalm 28:7

walking to school. one of the really great things in life!

out the back door, down the stairs, on the rock path through the back yard, YELL, "I LOVE YOU MOMMEEEEE!", through the gate, across the school field and playground, and into the best little neighborhood elementary school in town! me with my coffee and still in my pj's WAVING!!!!!! ah, eight short hours and i will see them again. oh, i still have one at home! just you and me lil man~

thrift store find! beauty pageant trophy

Peanut is surrounded by two brothers. She needs to know that she is my little beauty queen! but, i want her to know that God made her special and beautiful. when He sees her..He sees his Bride! He delights in her and sent Jesus to die for HER so that she might know Him. beauty is not external, but internal. BUT GOD DOES create beautiful things. the mountains, rivers, skies, sunsets, flowers, and my beautiful girl! but, it says in 2 Corinthians "though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day" 4:16. Peanut is physically beautiful. but, i pray daily for her heart and it's transformation into a heart that DESIRES for her KING! a beautiful heart.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

new painting "The Grove" sold to a Jackson belle.

Going to OLE MISS was one of the best times of my life! i met Bert there! i was in a FABULOUS sorority and i enjoyed every minute of being social and also attending classes which brought me an art degree. i took one painting class from the wonderful painter Jere Allen. He was so great at teaching us how to see and render, JUST PUT SOMETHING ON THE CANVAS, then work with that, and layer and layer. when i graduated i worked with my MRS. degree first and then came back to painting. i work mainly on commissions. i do the occasional "show". with three kids, it is a little hard to make a full time career out of anything. i major in mothering, with a minor in Art, and thrifting. for now. but, we shall see what the future holds when all of my peeps are in school.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

the middle

the middle child. it is such a curious thing. "Butter", my 6 year old is not really your typical middle. he makes a little more noise than most and requires an extreme amount of attention. he does not enjoy his alone time and really needs him some mommy. ALTHOUGH not a leg hugger. he does require a hug every time he changes locations. i write about Butter tonight because he is WEARING ME OUT. the start of kindergarten is great but has caused him to be even more tired, needy and GRUMPY! ARRGGHH. he does tell me he loves me about ten times a day and wants kisses. but i just took a bite of his "skettio-s" and that did not fly. i apparently have germs that do not transfer when kissing only when drinking some of his juice box or using the same spoon or spork. he requires the singing of desperado, a prayer, book and hug for nighttime. usually i can negotiate for a little less but his whining usually wins and i give in out of sheer exhaustion. his blue eyes will knock your socks off and he has the sweetest smile you have ever seen. i am trying to remember these good times and one day i won't be his "best girl" anymore.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

rico the hamster

Do not get a hamster. we have had two. it is a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs for you and your child. usually a child is not old and mature enough to understand matters of life, death and animals! especially when they fall head over heals in love with a little poopin and stinkin rodent. i am only using negative names right now as a defense mechanism. you see, i have myself grown very attached to this little critter. he is a dwarf hamster so he is little which somehow makes a difference in grossness.

"rico" is actually our second hamster by the same name. the first rico was purchased as a form of entertainment for the kids while we were in an apartment the size of my left butt cheek. we needed something to focus on besides the slow renovation of our house. it was such a hot summer and we were coping the best we knew how! all was well with little rico until we decided that he needed a bath. heaven forbid i google "caring for your hamster or do you bathe hamsters?" i needed no info after all, i had raised three babies and could certainly handle a hamster bath. so, we bathed the little guy and then Peanut wrapped him in a little washcloth to keep him warm. we are not sure if the hamster got too cold or if Peanut might have been holding him a little too tight....but he did not survive that bathtime experience. i personally did not think that Peanut would either as she ran around the apartment in tiny circles yelling, "the hamster the HAMSTERRRRRR!!!"

It was not until a year later that we got another hamster, which Peanut lovingly named "rico" and i must say that this little guy has been quite a little sweetie! we are careful to not get the little guy wet and Peanut is diligent about spending quality time with him daily. this particular hamster, although, likes to jump. he has jumped from Peanut's hands 3 or 4 times and always the same reaction "THE HAMSTERR..THE HAMSTERRRR...MOMMY SAVE HIM!!" and there i go with a little figertip CPR and a soft blow to his face. miraculously, he comes to, each time. Pea tells everyone that her hamster dies and then comes back to life again. the funniest stinkin thing i have ever laid eyes on is Bert performing the CPR task on rico in a desperate attempt to save him. NOT because he is a hamster lover but because Bert's number one goal is to AVOID DRAMA at all costs! the death of another hamster fits the drama category VERY well.

Today's drama might take the cake. RICO (don't laugh) had a "play date" with a hamster down the street. "OREO" and rico are simply victims to a couple of eight year old girls playing dolls with live hamsters. oreo doubles, even triples rico in size and somehow there was an accidental sharing of the same cage. the girls are aware that they can't let the hamsters actually "play" because they will fight to the death. but, this unfortunately happened due to a misunderstanding of where each hamster was to reside. the bad news is tiny rico was attacked by the large oreo and had no chance against him. he was retrieved by Peanut and her friend before it got really bad. Rico is still with us. he is hanging on with what looks like a pretty bad gash on his side and i am actually PRAYING that he survives because this family can not handle the drama of the passing of a loved one in such a manor as a "RUMBLE" with the hamster from lower dot st. HANG on rico, we are all pulling for you man. even bert, i think he secretly enjoyed the hero status of his CPR incident.

my first post. blogtastic!

i am thrilled that i think i have made it through the summer without completely losing it. i have only upped one dosage of one of my medications. i felt like i was going to start screaming out of my eyes so i went to 1ml on my klonopin. a little better. now i just holler out of my eyes. as i try and write my 1st post i am reminding myself to let the reader know that this blog is really about getting my thoughts out of my body, where they fester, and onto the computer screen. i think maybe one day i will be able to look back and laugh at these times. and i think it is neat to be able to record them and possibly get some encouragement from those that are traveling the same path of life. 1.marraige,>>>>>>>>>>> 3. me. need to insert God where he belongs #1 but still working on it. thank the Lord for HIS FREE GRACE!!

New paragraph. i do not ever know when to begin new paragraphs. not so great at spelling or punctuation so don't judge. just read and know that at the time that most of my posts will be written will be at moments of frusteration, with the kids still offending. or after the much TOO needed glass of wine or two. or in the bed, usually around 11:30pm while listening to Bert snoring. or listening to him sigh and toss and turn because i have chosen to be with the computer rather than him. sorry Bert, really i am.

At the time of this post, "Crunch", my three year old, is eating a PBandJ in his Superman skivvies and donning a pirate hat and sword. he sits on the couch, watching Wall-E and wiping his sticky hands in his HAIR! this is one of my favorite "Crunchisms". "Butter" has a play date at the pool and "Peanut" just went to eat lunch with a friend. all is well with only one kid around. AS long as Wall-E does it's job as a free babysitter for it's 85 minute running time.

if you have not figured out my children's nicknames, here is some help: "Peanut Butter Crunch"

8 yr old girl "Peanut". 6 yr old boy "Butter". 4 year old boy "Crunch".

All three a gift and only on loan from God my father