"tale of a third grade nothing" (indian day fiasco) told in "stream of consiousness" form.

this is one of the worst of my childhood memories. it has been a source of comedy relief in my family but i am TIRED of it being funny. it just is not.

there was a contest that was going to be held at our school JUST for the third grade and it involved dressing up! my favorite thing. i came home, told mother (she is "mother" in this story because that is the tone that i use when i am angry and still bitter about something that was traumatizing and HER FAULT). so, i came home and told her that we had "indian day" coming up and there was a costume contest! well, giddyup! she got really excited about this project and went all over town to collect the indian "squaw" gear. yarn wig, moccasins, suede vest, indian skirt, war paint...etc. nothing was too much! i was going to WIN!


indian day came around a couple of weeks later and i woke up at the crack of dawn to get ready. this is when the above photo was taken. i gathered my backpack and waited for carpool. they drove up, honked and i skipped out to the car. i thought it a little strange and somewhat pitiful that the other third grader in my carpool had forgotten to dress up. sad. she is really going to have a bad day, i was thinking. we pulled up to school and off to the gym where the ENTIRE SCHOOL went before the bell rings.


it pains me to assume that you, the reader of this MOST popular blog, probably know what is next:


there i walked, head held high, into the gym, to be admired for my "squaw like" details and after all, i looked like freaking Pocahontas! and yes, as you are suspecting...the worst happens...the worst moment in any after school special. the contents of the gym swarm like some movie star had walked in. only, it is me. not a star, but a THIRD GRADE NOTHING, dressed as an indian. the DAY BEFORE indian day. so therefore, i am the only one dressed as an indian.


to make a long story (intended to be short) even longer, i need to tell you that i had to spend the day as the lone indian in the third grade hall. then the next day, wear it ALL OVER AGAIN. i don't think i won any contest but i should have for the length of my reign as Sacajawea!


oh, and it is Mother's fault because she was supposed to know when these dates were! who trusts a third grader with a calendar?