Tuesday, February 9, 2010


i am reaching the end of a rather interesting day. it began as usual and really uneventful. i PREPARED myself all morning for what i thought was going to be a traumatic "dental" experience. crunch had to have a cavity filled. in my defense, the dentist said that the cavity was so deep in the tooth that it was probably an "abnormality" in his tooth. in other words....i don't pour sugar down my kids mouths. the kid came out of the filling like a champ. no tears. a little loopy maybe. but it was SO EASY. WOW! i thought, this is gonna be a good day AFTER ALL.

after we left the dentist, crunch and i headed to get him something "cold" to drink and then (since we still had time to spare before the others got home from school) we headed for the art store so i could grab a few supplies. up at the register there was a display of "x-acto" knives that were little and kind of looked like tape measures. they were brightly colored and they looked like fun so crunch grabbed one...i took it out of his hand and said, "you can't have that..it is a knife and it will CUT YOU!" i always try to sound kind of scary when my kids confront something dangerous. it will CUTTT YOOOOO! i guess i think it works.

we get home, the kids come in from walking home from school. big sis started tickling crunch when they walked in. he retreated to hide in this pillows of the couch. i said, "oh look he is so tired from his filling...leave him alone....let him rest". then she said to me "MOM he's hiding something in his hand!" right about that time he shows me the purple x-acto in his hand. Oh. My. Gosh!!!!!! CRUNCH YOU STOLE THAT KNIFE!!!!!!! then i went into my upset fussing "i can't believe you did that! you CAN"T TAKE STUFF that you don't pay for!! that is called STEALING!!!

next stop: police station...[this will really get him], i'm thinking...we will go in and i'll let a police officer talk to him and that MIGHT get through to him (since this is our 4th shoplifting experience). so we drive up and there is an officer on his cell in his police car. i rolled down the window and asked if he would talk to my four year old. well, not only did he talk to him....he asked if we wanted to come and see what the jail looks like. [OH BOY! what an opportunity!] i thought. so, we went on a "tour" of the local jail. oh yes, we saw the interrogation room that just happened to have a HANDCUFFED PRISONER IN IT!!!! (i don't think 'officer jimmy' knew there was someone in there). luckily, peanut is the only one that saw him and i think she is over it. we got to smell the stench of the "cage" area of the jail and we saw a prisoner inside the cage. now, let me be clear...the two older children had eyes as big as saucers and were greatly impacted by everything and butter wanted to be SURE that his little brother was not going to be left there. BUT CRUNCH. WAS HARDLY MOVED AT ALL BY THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE!!!! UGGGGGG!

final location: returning the stolen merch we headed back to the art store and all piled out of the minivan and crunch just be bopped his way on in and, we brought the x-acto back to the manager and he asked for forgiveness, she played along and then i pulled out my final desperate trick...nothing else had worked in "shaking him up"...SPIDERMAN the action figure just happened to be in my pocket. i handed the manager crunch's favorite toy for the manager to keep until we come back again....i got a little reaction with that...but nothing to really write about.

we got in the car. he pulled a piece of candy out of his pocket from the first visit to the art store (a tradition for crunch to get a mint from the manager's back office..yes, he helps himself). SO, he goes to put that mint in his mouth and i said, "oh no you may NOT have that candy. not after what has happened today." he curled his lip out and cried.......but only a little bit. a reaction? was it enough? we'll seeeeeee!!!!!! LORD, i can't know how to be the best mom to a child like crunch. please help me to make the right decisions concerning my kids. please protect them. help crunch to learn from today. and me too!
disclaimer: one might feel that i went a little far with this "disciplinary tactic" and i just have to say, "WALK A MILE IN THESE SHOES! i have to make big statements to get results. he is a strong-willed child and unless you have one of these then shhhhhh...." thanks!


  1. Keep it up, sister. I promise, you are making an impression. My older son, who is adorable and has finally calmed down a lot at the ripe old age of 9 talks about things I said in scary voices and the time I called the police on him and tells me those are the things that makes him make sure he is good. FYI I called the police b/c he at age 4 and his 2 year old brother left the back yard searching for a ball in the woods behind our house and had an adventure and decided not to answer when they heard me yelling for them- growing more frantic by the passing minute. I have full custody of the boys and am grateful for it and would DIE if I lost full custody.Anyway, I was certain that some vagrant was in the woods lurking behind the shops on the other side of the woods had kidnapped my children. So, I called Homewood police, who responded INSTANTLY. The boys emerged from the woods ONLY when they heard the police sirens wailing because they thought it was cool the police were coming to their neighborhood. THIS is just one of the many reasons I have to color my hair.

  2. this is hilarious. so crunch. the video wouldn't pull up and i'm dying to see it! it just said the video was unavailable. the one with beau and millie wouldn't pull up either. post them to your facebook please!