Thursday, April 15, 2010

what i want to say

what i want to say and what i feel like i can't say are starting to blend together and cause a little "friction". i started blogging because i was encouraged to by friends. then, when i began to blog a lot i felt "encouraged". it is definitely therapeutic to me to blog about my feelings and struggles. about my children and their struggles. but now i feel a little downtrodden.
questions posed:
are people reading my blog for entertainment? certainly some are. are they reading it for a laugh? sure, when the posts are funny. are they reading it to keep up with my family? my family probably is and maybe some out of town friends.
and then this question:
are they reading it to laugh AT me, instead of WITH me?? this question was posed to me. "well, if they are than they are." was my answer.
i am not private.....BIG SURPRISE!
i am not ashamed or embarrassed easily....i know you did not notice this, either!
so the question is WHY DO IT?? WHY DO I NEEED TO BLOG?
ok, well.....hmmmmmm. i like it. it gives me an escape from my life. it gets the feelings out instead of in. i like the amount of attention the blog gets. the positive attention. i am not crazy about negative attention. i am learning that this comes with the territory. MOST importantly, i want to share the Gospel! i have many posts about my faith in Jesus.
i have been asked to remove things from my blog in several occasions. i have been asked to "edit" things. i have insulted people without knowing until i was told. NEVER INTENTIONAL.
being a "people pleaser" and a blogger do not really jive.
i had NO IDEA that "this funky junky" would be read by so many. i am thrilled! BUT it also opens the doors to some of these problems (mentioned above). i TRY to never use last names and when applicable i change names. sometimes i have not changed names and this has caused problems. for this i am SO SORRY.
am i discouraged? yes.
am i going to keep blogging? yes.
i don't think i should stop blogging but it will be better because of lessons learned.
will i still offend people? OF COURSE! no one can make everyone happy.
there is a big difference in offending someone and HURTING THEM.

a friend taught me an important rule of thumb.....said by the apostle PAUL
"everything is permissible, but not all things are beneficial"
this will be my guide. i will write to my hearts delight, unless it is not beneficial for me, or hurts others.
SO, JUNKIES! i am going to continue to blog and post photos of art and tell stories and PRAY that the things i post are beneficial, fun, and helpful. and sometimes a little painful for me but helpful to the call of faith in Christ through all trials.

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