tall, blonde, confident....

do i deserve dirty looks? i feel frustrated this morning as i think about a couple of incidents that happened to me this week. "GIRLS". i would think that the same things that happen in elementary school would be gone by say...our thirties. i have felt, my whole adult life that i have to PROVE that i am nice. there is nothing worse than a tall blond or brunette that is confident and is not nice. they can be misconstrued as snobby or aloof. i am fearful of this, so i am always friendly as possible. not fake, but friendly. when girls get together there is power and meanness in numbers. that group of girls that is chatting at a party find it fun to talk about every girl there. what they are wearing...etc. this brings me to what happened to me at a party this weekend. i was wearing a crazy looking faux fur jacket, jeans and boots with heals. i had done my hair and make-up and felt good about my appearance. 5 extra pounds and all. when i walked in, there were girls everywhere and one little pack of them looked at me said nothing but looked at each other and LAUGHED AT ME! i know they were laughing at me because they looked and then laughed. UGGGG. i was SO embarrassed.
then, while mall walking, i kept coming in contact with three girls pushing their babies. NOW, i knew one of them, have seen her many times...so i smiled, said hey......no return hello. i passed them again and made a comment about how cute their babies were.....no "thank you". once again, i was ignored.
you might be thinking...."liz, get over yourself!" i am aware that these girls could have been busy talking and simply not had enough time or been way too tired from pushing their buggies to say hello. let me tell you why i know that this might not be true. i have friends that have told me in words such as this: "when i first met you, liz, i thought...'i bet she is a snob or not nice'....then i was so surprised to find out how nice you were!" i have never known how to take this. why do i come across as someone who might not be nice? so, i MAKE SURE that they see that i genuinely am friendly, nice, and a believer. oh, btw being a believer can also warrant some unpleasantness! God warns us about this in the bible.
i am sorry to use my blog as a counseling session. but, i can. it's my blog.