Monday, November 16, 2009

almost homecoming queen


bert and i had been dating since our freshman year and we were seniors, at this point. i was his fraternity's "sweetheart" which continues to be in the top 5 of the coolest and most flattering and most FUN experiences of my life thus far. a great honor. so, when my sorority put me up to run for HOMECOMING QUEEN, i was THRILLED. and Bert's fraternity joined in supporting me (as their sweetheart). OH i had the WORLD!!!! in my eyes...i had arrived! running for homecoming QUEEN!.... me? (if only they knew the truth), i never was awarded ANYTHING in my life. i was a closet semi-nerd posing as a sorority girl running for a major popularity contest. the greatest and coolest part of it was....are you ready for this?...I WAS RUNNING UNCONTESTED. no one was running against me. i was just going to be homecoming queen. just. like. THAT...BAM!

i called mother. (hushed whisper)"mom, the sorority put me up for homecoming queen. yes, but shhhh stop crying...listen. NO ONE IS RUNNING AGAINST ME. shhh, do we still have the ball gown from the Krewe Ball? yes, get it ready because i think that one would be perfect....ok..ok shhhh you can't talk about this, i don't want to seem presumptuous. ok, no you can't tell judy cuz then she'll tell linda and then she'll tell josephine and it will be ALL OVER. so HUSH. loveya bye."

a couple of weeks went by and the deadline approached for the applications to be turned in for those running for "social offices" (we'll call them). and at the very last minute. SURPRISE SURPRISE! another sorority put up their president. a smaller sorority than ours but none the same..a good one...with a pretty girl we'll call "Anne" that was now running against me, with her campaign manager boyfriend who had recently lost his own election for student body president. and, for the love of pete, was NOT going to lose another election. if he could have fit in the ballgown, he would have worn it.

politics are MEAN. they are so mean that i do not want to even re-live this but for the sake of the story and my continued therapy i will say: during my few weeks of campaigning EVER (and never again) some sorority "mudslinging" (if you will) went on and it hurt. because i could not prove to anyone that these lies about our sorority "block voting" other sororities during previous elections WERE JUST NOT TRUE. these lies whispered in the ears of our neighboring sorority houses hurt their feelings and they, in turn, voted against us. all's fair in lipstick, hairspray and homecoming queen elections. oh...ohhhhhhh..and the worst of the worst was the making fun of my campaign poster. it was said, by i can't imagine who? that my goal in the picture was to show off my boobs!!! i, for the love of dolly parton, was wearing a turtle neck and was crossing my arms! ouch. ouch. ouch. snif.

let me state the obvious. i lost. i was not, nor would i ever be, homecoming queen. a beautiful, sweet, and non PRESUMPTUOUS girl won. with her PRESUMPTUOUS boyfriend at her side, with the smirk cocked to the side. he had done it. he had won! how did it feel? was it worth it?
i am sure that these two individuals are married now and they probably have a beautiful family and he is the district #5 state, federal, local, representative. with the twinkle of the white house in his eye. Listen, just don't make up stories about someones boobs again. it does not work in government politics, only popularity contests.
all this to say, i am SO over it. can't you tell?
moral of the story, do NOT get your ball gown out before the ball. cuz you might not even make it to the ball, cinderella.

1 comment:

  1. awwwwww. i'm just proud you were almost. and not even a mississippi girl. proud to know you.