thinko de mayo! JUNK

all day long i have been saying "happy thinko de mayo!"
i learned a little spanish in SPAIN and they pronounce the "s" sound as a "th".
the story goes: they had a leader that had a lisp and so the people of spain were told to speak like him in order to make him NOT feel uncomfortable.
HA!
"we thay in thpanish uno, doth, treth, quatro, thinko!!!! happy thinko de mayo!"
-Grathias

junk9

hilarious facebook status

as i was trying to sign on my computer here at starbucks and i needed help. so, the little girl that works here came outside to help and i told her i sold my PAINTINGS at the lambs ears. she looked at me and said "used panties?"

junk8

crunch knows how to embarrass the STEW out of me. today he licked the floor at "AT HOME" and then he was doing that jibberish talk. i was like "who's kid is that? really, where is she?" ps. he was just being silly but STILL!

some old "non-blogged" paintings!

facebook discussion on lice cures~

my question posed to FB friends:
ok have to do the second treatment of RID on all of our hair just to be sure. a little tea tree oil shampoo after. let me be clear...i have not seen ONE nit in my kids white hair? what is the big woop?

friend A: been there, done that and you will KNOW its a big woop when you have them and enjoy all the fun. Use the tea tree until school is out, is my advice. and then get some to use every so often after that. Take a fool's advice my child.
friend B: We used tea tree oil ( i put drops in all our shampoo)- and then instead of using the scary chemicals, we used olive oil- it works just as well!
ME: i just re-RID'd their hair and i still do not see anything. i think we got them the 1st time. i think only one of mine really had them but the other one had one or two "nits" i hope i got em all! yuk.
friend C: Been there! Olive oil is the best. no chemicals and it leaves their hair soft.
friend D: Ummm since my daughter is in same grade & school..... what's involved with the olive oil treatment?
ME: ok it is all over their class. even some of the boys have shaved their heads! do not wash her hair but like every third day. they hate dirty hair. love clean hair. if possible put some hairspray in it. they hate hairspray or hair gel. also pull her hair up even in a braid. the nurse is checking regularly i think but you need to check her hair with a fine tooth comb.
friend D: Best place to check is behind their ears, especially if they are scratching. I'm a tea tree oil lover also. Been there!!
ME: does the tea tree shampoo work as well as the oil? where do you put the oil? ALL over their heads?
Friend D: I got the oil at whole foods and added a few drops to the shampoo and lathered it up and let it sit on their heads before rinsing. I think they have tea tree shampoo there also - maybe JASON brand?

THIS JUST IN!
check out this ROBI COMB! a friend says it works!
http://www.robicomb.com/

junk7

today's facebook status:

trying to enjoy some leisurely (solo) shopping at the salvation army today and the whole time a set of 3 year old twins with the highest LOUDEST voices were running around the entire store. pulling things off of the racks! the mom never told them to stop. they would say "uno, dos, tres, BAMOS!" i am sorry but this is a high class store NOT a mcdonalds play place!

coffee mug from a gulf coast fave!

the "old" donut hole in destin!
raisin bread french toast
coffee
new mug
priceless.
actually about $18! SO WORTH IT!

home from the beach

so hard to jump
back into my life
from my toes in the sand
to tripping over toys
breaking skin on a leggo
ouch
it's like climbing out of a hot tub
into the snow
the snow might be pretty
but it requires more layers
first... the t-shirt of patience
then...the pants with built in padding for hand to hand combat
last...the jacket with pockets for band aids, dum dums (for bribing),
a "mike-a-rita" for happy hour??
throw on a hat for quick thinking and some boots..waterproof, poo-proof and fast moving!
what is left of my beach weekend? a giggle at a remembered story, new relationships and new strength for old ones.
priceless "girl time".
we'll do it again in 365 or so days.
hmmmmffff.

high school is sticky.

by sticky i mean that whatever reputation that you have in high school sticks to you like glue. take for example the cool girl who was never really cool in her mind finds out that she indeed was considered cool and popular by her former classmates. the pretty girl feels that she must maintain prettiness at least through her 40's. the nerd feels like she can't shake her nerdiness so she feels animosity toward the pretty and popular girls. this can stick to you all the way through your thirties for sure.
because i am there.
here is the truth of the matter:
we were all insecure, all posers, all wannabees. every single one of us. we were 16 for heavens sake! what did we know about life? i had only known Jesus for a few years and he had only begun the work in me to relieve my insecurities.


trying to shake or peel off the sticky pre-conceived notions of our past lives is actually harder that you think. i am finding out.
the moment that the former high school mate gets the courage to tell you what she really thought of you in high school. and you can tell just a bit that she still thinks that! after all these years.
just when you think that you tried to be nice to everyone...you get just a little prick? from a friend. "what? what did that mean? you said i was in the 'popular/cool' crowd? weird cuz I THOUGHT I WAS A DWEEB AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE POPULAR AND SWEET". and there is a southern smile behind the comment that stings as you try once more to peel the sticky sign off of you that must still say "popular, airhead, dance line, c student".
this is the deal, i went to OLE MISS instead of Alabama or Auburn to get away from these preconceived notions and the people that thought them, only to come back after school and have the sticky sign glued right back on to me. here we go again.
i am still insecure...but i know now that my security comes from the Lord.
i do not think that i am cool...because what the heck is THAT when you are 35?
i do not think i am pretty...i won't go anywhere without covering up my blemishes
i do not think i am a good mother...i have to pray everyday that i can live up to my children's expectations
as if i have stuck a new sign on myself.
once again......Jesus died on the cross for all of this. WHY can't i peel the sign off of my body that i stuck on with "crazy" glue? how many signs do i have?
anyone have any glue remover?
hey, i hear "GOO GONE" works!
Lord remove this goo in my life. i am tired of it's stickiness.

junk6

at the beach with the fun ladies of our church. i will assure you NO foolishness is going on! ps. we played truth or dare. which was just truth. got some good scoop.

you LOUSE!!!!

ok SO....the worst of the worst and one of the least most FUN things has happened. the phone call:
nurse: mrs. liz? we have butter in the health room and we have what we think might be a couple of suspicious spots in his hair. now............................(she talks with long pauses) this might be lice eggs.

me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT??? oh no you are kidding me! this can't be happening! i am going to the beach tomorrow do we have to treat the whole family? should you go and check my daughter while you are at it???

so, there i am with both kids with "possible" lice. checked out of school. i headed to pre-school to get crunch. might as well have a freakin bug party with all of our family and some of that wonderfully affordable shampoo and de-bugging comb through gel! NOT ONLY THAT!!! we had to strip all of the sheets and comforters and pillows and cushion covers. then we had to put all of the stuffed animals and anything that can't be washed in garbage bags for like three weeks. THEN we have to DE-EGG ourselves each day because (grab a barf bag) in 7 days the EGGS WILL HATCH. huuuuaaaah. i just threw up in my mouth.

everyone was treated except for bert. he'll be sorry when he has a couple of hatching eggs on his head.

the cone of shame.

poor moss the dog. no only is his weight problem causing other doggies to laugh at him.....now he dons the "cone of shame". he has been licking his darn foot for so long it has this horrifying bump on it that is getting bigger and bigger with his every lick. so, peanut and i took him to the vet where they fitted him in the cone and told us to give him some benadryl. now he lays...on the floor...with the cone...flattened on the bottom by the weight of his droopy "what have you people done to me NOW" face. oh, and while we were at the vet he weighed in at EXACTLY WHAT HE WEIGHED LAST TIME! no weight loss. this dog has no metabolism. poor poor hefty cone wearin boy!

junk5

butter and his little friend are in the backyard looking for animal "weapons"?

his expwanation: "wike when a bee dies and wooses his stinger. OR when a WHINO dies and wooses his horn! THAT might even be in the backyard!

junk4

last night we turned all the lights off and told "stories". when it was crunch's turn his was about a spiderman m&m. it was HILARIOUS.

a hole in my heart and a crash diet

i feel a bit of a hole in my heart where frannie used to be. sounds kind of silly but i do! i miss holding her and i miss her sleeping with me in the bed. don't get me wrong, moss the dog is GREAT but he is SO big that i cant hold him, i've tried. and when he gets up in my lap...well, it's just weird. and he should be named "gassy the dog" cuz when he toots it is an almost visible green cloud that looms so densely on your face that it is like some sort of atomic re verb. (i do not know if that sentence made sense but it does not matter cuz this is my blog and i can say what i want). so i started thinking that i might be ready to have a smaller (already trained) pound dog. i went online and found the cutest little 12 lb adult dog that would be perfect xcept for the adult part because what if she is actually really old and then i have to go thru the same thing that i went through with frannie? right now the kids are gathering all of their money together and have come up with $26.83 for a new dog. they are going to put it in bert's walk-in closet with a note that says "money for new doggie" how will he be able to resist? he has said no to a new dog. but we are not asking for a new dog we are asking to "rescue a previously owned or abused dog". i just heard butter shout to peanut "hey i just found 10 cents!" so they now have $26.93! they only need about a hundred or so to cover adoption fees.

update on moss the dog's crash diet:
he is STARVING and is STEALING FOOD RIGHT OUT OF PEOPLE'S HANDS!
he has become a much better "dustbuster" than before. he can spot and hear a dropped m&m from across the house. he has even resorted to eating grass.
he stole a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from the counter top that shay (the babysitter) made for crunch. she is still mad at him. we have been exercising him and he gets tired pretty easily but one day he pulled crunch on his tricycle down the sidewalk with his leash. that was fun until butter realized that he needed to actually "STEER" the handle bars. we won't try that again for a while (that was a "what was i thinking" moment).

junk3

straight from my facebook status but perfect for my new "junk" entries

note to self...remind babysitter when crunch asks for his RED BOWL he is not asking for RED BULL. i could have sworn he was asking me for red bull this morning. THIS MISTAKE WOULD HAVE MASSIVE CONSEQUENCES

junk 2

just cuz you think you have your phone on "locked" in your back pocket does not mean that your butt can't somehow hit the two buttons it needs to, in order...so as to unlock the lock and answer the phone letting the person calling listen to your entire conversation with a friend.....thank the LORD that you were not sayin something that you should not of. ffffyyyyyeeeewww!!!

A's painting

i am waiting on the pick-up of a painting painting. my friend commissioned me to do a pretty big one for her. she is a fellow artist and kinda just let me paint!! i LOVE that kind of customer!! i sent her the photos of progress along the way.
step 1 spread clear medium
step 2 carve sketch into it
step 3 let dry
step 4 paint over with color to see imprints more clearly
step 5 paint your colors!!

JUNK

a new aspect to the blog. sort of like a facebook status or a quote or a tweet. look for these. they will be titled JUNK! not the bad kind of junk but just the xtras in my life and my kids....junky and funky but real! here goes my first:


JUNK!
crunch thinks that the word BROCCOLI is hilarious. he will put it anywhere in a sentence.....ex..."momma your lookin like a broccoli and juice box!"

the hair is fixed and now butter looks like a man.

EVERYONE sais go with a buzz but we chose to leave a little in the front to do a "sprig" with. i call it, the redneck.. "i just ran SMACK into a wall and then someone spritzed me with hairspray" look. here is what the little man had to say about it on video. let me know if you understand anything the boy says. he tends to talk through his missing bottom tooth. he thinks he looks AWESOME and then crunch got to get some of his mop cut too!